I’m not going to get upset because you don’t want me in your life.

I’m not going to get upset because you can’t stand to even be in the same room as me anymore.

I’m not going to allow myself to get upset and be hurt over this because that was the decision you chose to make and I cannot do anything to change that.

I am however going to hope that you find happiness and that everything works out well for you because at one point in my life you were important to me and I was important to you.

I am going to be selfish and go for what I want.

I am going to take the hand of the man I love and be happy with him, my best friend, the one I cannot honestly see myself without - platonic or romantic. 

I am going to keep my head held high and follow my heart to achieve my dreams and my happiness and enjoy my life and the people around me.

Good luck. Have fun.

A change of pace.

I want to take a moment to add a little bit of positivity to my most negative blog. Because really, things are looking up.
No my depression/anxiety isn’t getting any better.
But I’ve been genuinely happy lately and I really am excited about that. It’s huge.
And I want to talk about it and share in my excitement and joy but I want to keep it to myself at the same time.
I’ve become very distrusting of a few people, but in turn I’ve found people who are incredibly loyal and I want to be around them. Share my secrets, open up, continue to add a few to my close circle.
I want to go from having my three close friends, to having a couple more. (I think it would be nice considering two out of the three don’t live near me at all.) I’m gonna work at it!

I’m very happy right now and I don’t want it to stop.

I’ve grown to really appreciate how much hatred for myself I’ve harbored and how much of an act I can pull in front of others.
I’ve also grown to appreciate the one person able to call my bullshit and yet he still loves me.

I feel like even though I’ve been managing to help my closest friends with their issues, I’m not able to open up and really tell them what’s going on with myself…I know there’s more than what my minds leading me to believe but…I don’t know I wanna fight it and fix it on my own…

Hello. You must be looking for me. Well you’ve come to the right place. 

You know I’m not a fan of people I know in real life following my blog and now I’m starting to understand why it’s not a good idea - even if you’re my close friend. I’m sorry and still care but if you want to know what’s going on you leave me a message.

L8r,